there are some questions to which i have no answer to. and yet, these somehow just have to be the questions that are asked so often.

Lord, im struggling. Teach me, each step along the path that i take. I want to hear Your voice again. I need You. i know i will ask why, but, i know that at the same time You have a perfect plan. and so, help me to surrender.

praying about philippines this july and cambodia at the end of the year. may You open doors.

stared blankly at the ceiling at 3am.

Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

had a good time of fellowship with cw today :) am also very blessed by uncle ivan's and uncle soh jen's openness to feedback on how a song should be played or sung. tk God for them leading worship in 2 different ministries.



a constant, nagging reminder. maybe i should.

surprised i was awake? tks for calling. it helped. im finding it easier to share now.

tk God for last night's message. hit pretty hard how we are living so unconcerned for people around us. and it's true that God's purpose for us is the Great Commission. but yet, we choose to want to be comfortable where we are, not bothering where others are heading.

Why have You chosen me out of millions Your child to be?......
For You i will live, and walk by Your side all the way.





and perhaps i will make the last decision for the first time...
cos it doesnt always have to be that way.

Luke 17:6
And the Lord said, "If you had faith like a grain of mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it would obey you.

i stand amazed at the power of Your hands in everything. You have shown me that You can allow things just as long as we pray in faith, believing that You will answer. just so thankful for last evening, tonight, tmr evening, sunday morning, and even mon morning and night. just as i thought these were not possible, You made them possible :) blessed!

Public prayer in worship brings all the members of the body togehter in agreement. In Matthew 18:19 Jesus says, "Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven." So when, two or three or more agree in prayer, as in public worship, their prayers have a special power.

I think that the above is the actual context of Matthew 18:20. Didnt really know that before until it was mentioned at campus camp and in the book im reading.

As he is Lord, he has appointed us to be servant lords, to have dominion over the world under him. And we, too, are to control the earth, to develop an authoritative understanding of it, and to spread our presence throughout the world. Antoher way of looking at that is to say that we are to be kings, prophets, and priests under God. So, conveying God's authority; and ethical, reflecting God's presence in holiness, goodness and righteousness.

Hmm, maybe thats what it means when the gospel tract said we are rulers under Him?

ive got things to say, things to ask of, things to do, none of which are simple. Lord, grant me wisdom.







im finding it harder and harder...
and sometimes i just wish...
can talk? actually its need to.

had a blessed time at soccer camp. thank God for His exceeding abundance in this camp. its amazing to see how many labourers He raised up to serve Him in this camp and its great to know our labour is not in vain in the Lord. it wasnt just any sports camp, but a spiritual one. thank God for the souls added to His kingdom.


thanks for talking yet again. active blocking helps, i hope?

think im falling sick...oh wells

really thank God for camp. thank You for meeting with me in a very special way. ive learnt much, even while on the way back from camp. at this camp, You taught me the real meaning of being humble.

thank God for all the talking and sharing. tis good. appreciate it much. tks =)

sometimes when things get a little tough, and instructions harder to follow
i just turn to You and Your commandments, and then i guess, it becomes a lot easier.

teach me.

a thousand times i've failed, still Your mercy remains,
and should i stumble again, still i'm caught in Your grace.

not good...i think (which is likely the case) that its a meniscus injury. probably soft tissue wearing out man. and there's nth to be done about it. except to stop running altogether? sth im definitely not planning to do haha. i wanna run during church camp! well, back to the use of that knee guard that came in handy in j1. actually yeah feels like a recurrence of that injury. oh wells, i just dont want it to be a distraction. it was kinda distracting during worship.

thank God for the launching of the fellowship groups today. post-sec pot-luck thing today was pretty interesting =)

From the Inside Out

A thousand times I've failed, Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again, Still I'm caught in your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

My heart and my soul, I give you control

Consume me from the inside out Lord

Let justice and praise become my embrace

To love You from the inside out

Your will above all else, my purpose remains

The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
My heart and my soul, I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out Lord, my soul cries out.

back again tmr...
what can i say? im not sure at all.
Father, im praying for wisdom that can only come from You to say and do what is right in Your sight.
1 Tim 4:12 keeps replaying in my head. 'Be thou an example of the believers'. Father, help me to be a good testimony always, no matter what.

today marks the first day of my official break from work, which means about 2 months holiday before school starts. gotta make this break a well-planned one :)

and yes! finally get to cook lunch. <3

The River

=)

I don't want it to be mere words.

was reminded last night about life. was thinking about work which would end today, and realised how meaningless life would be we were to let each day pass by, the seconds ticking away, without living each day for God. without anyone to follow in our lives, i would possibly be wandering aimlessly, unsure of what to do next, or where i should be heading. but now with Christ in our vessel, shouldnt we be living each day for Jesus? Yes! we should be. but am i? it always strikes me how each day passes by so quickly when im working. i seem to only have time for a morning and night quiet time, and the rest of the day is work, with little time to seek God. and each time i am reminded of death, where we sit at the judgement seat. when it's all been said and done, did i do my best for live for truth, did i live my life for you? as work ends today, i know where i am heading. or at least i know that God will be leading and guiding me the rest of my life.

can i truly say that i will live for You each day? yes, i know i will falter, i will stumble. but You will pick me up, and i will be even stronger. today, i choose to follow You. help me Lord to keep this in my heart always.

hmm...i guess it is not a bad thing to think a little more, since this is where it has led me :)
psalm 46:10 - be still and know that I am God.

thinking about thinking. why do we as humans think so much? i mean, it suddenly dawned on me how much we actually think. for me, when someone speaks, certain words (people, places, things) jump out at me, and i start to ponder about related issues. and ironically, i am thinking right now, about thinking. dont really know where this is going, but i want to rationalize my thoughts. sometimes, i feel these thoughts are unnecessary. they can lead to sin - hatred, jealousy, self-inflicted pain etc. but then again, sometimes such thoughts are necessary to spur us on to greater heights, to push us to got the distance, to strive for excellence. it is innate in us to think, to rationalize for we were made to have freedom of thoughts, of emotions. and then, the part about introspection. where one starts analysing ppl's words, facial expressions, emotions, and coming to a conclusion about something. that involves deeper and more complex thoughts. i realise that introspection has its negative side too. it is actually harmful to think too much. can people allow nature to take its course without thinking and analysing an issue over and over until it no longer makes any sense? to this, i think there is no answer.

on a side note, work is probably ending tmr! something i have been waiting for. well, i really thank God for seeing us through so much. and i am grateful and thankful for this great opportunity given to me, that has taught me so much these 5 mths.

ah...hope i dont fall sick. throat is bad, head is heavy.

"When you make a promise to God, don't delay in following through, for God takes no pleasure in fools. Keep all the promises you make to Him. It is better to say nothing then to make promises and not keep it. " (Ecc 5: 4,5)
"Young people, it's wonderful to be young. Enjoy every minute of it. Do everything you want to do; take it all in. But remember that you must give an account to God in everything you do." (Ecc 11:9)

no touching of work at all this weekend. :) boy, am i glad.

today's message was really impactful. was moved by what Pastor Mike said, about how if we could just 1/20 of 1% of our income each mth, we would be able to reach out to the 2 billion ppl who have not heard Christ's name even once. the irony of things is that ppl often think that if they give, they will have less in return. but God promises much much more in return, that we may give even more to the church of Jesus Christ. and its not just spiritual blessings, but financial as well. and yes, the health and wealth gospel thing. its so true, that certain things are biblical about it, but the error lies in the part where the wealth gathered be used for your own lust, and material gains. well, i guess its truly a blessing to give, rather than to receive. give without remembering, take without forgetting. may we give because He first gave. to give faithfuly, sacrificially, cheerfully, proportionately and expectantly.

talked to ian about the theology stuff as mentioned below and managed to clarify things. tk God.
shall explain that soon as well (together with the long overdue account of my trip :P)


well well...i was in the car. geddit? haha :) dont worry.









so every moment, we shared together
is even better than the moment before
and if everyday was, as good as today was,
then i can't wait til tomorrow comes.

heh nice song :)

Children's Camp Theme Song 2009

Verse 1:
On the cross, You died for all to see.
You came to earth to save me.
I was lost, but now I am found.
For You died and rose again to set me free.

Chorus:
Help me to,
Love You with my heart, my soul, my mind, my strength.
For You're worthy to be loved,
for You're worthy to be praised.
Help me to,
Live for You all of my days.
In Jesus name, we pray, Amen

Verse 2:
The eyes of the Lord are searching to and fro
He is looking for You, His child, do you know?
He sees that heart that longs for Him
And He works in You, to help You grow.

Verse 3:
Lord, let me learn how to serve
To help my brothers and sisters I love
Even though I am young
You’ll give me strength, and I will sing this song.

editing in progress
need uncle ivan and ian to vet
but i do need honest feedback from whoever who reads this!
please feel free to comment, and if u wanna hear the tune, please let me know too.
i need all the various opinions :) tks

thought everything would be over tmr
looks like i was wrong
more to do, more to edit
its definitely next wk
could be tues, wed, or even fri, who knows
its really too long drawn
physically drained nearly everyday
really cant wait for next wk to be over
more time with my family, my grandma
and to plan and focus on life ahead

all the same, i thank God for this job
God has broken me, picked me and taught me life lessons through this
i remember saying in a post earlier this year about waiting and praying
well, i believe its about perserverance as well,
and without which i wouldnt have pushed through 5+ mths
He gave me strength to see me through each day.

and now its even more waiting and praying.
i think at the end of the year i will look back and be in awe and amazement at God's hands in everything.


but then when i bow to You, the challenges You guide me through, Your promises are ever new, I claim them for today.
just so unworthy to receive His blessings, yet He still gave