hmm, well, i predicted the outcome. i tried. but, i guess just take it as the Lord leads. after all, He is in control. some things are not meant to be understood. there are no reasons for certain things as well. i prayed and He answered with closed doors.

i guess i really wanted a yes. but somehow in my heart, i knew it would be no. disappointment, but Lord, Your will be done.

school is starting soon. i just really want to make good use of the remaining time left.

somehow, someday, some time, some place i will finally be able to. dont know when. maybe many years down the road. but sooner or later, i can perhaps make that decision.





it feels like being held very tightly by the hand. sometimes just wish for a let go. 19 years...and perhaps several more years to come... oh wells...